Why My Favorite Color’s Orange: A Memoir of a Friend

Orange is the color of many things in the world; pumpkins, candy corn, construction cones, leaves in the fall, Reeses cup wrappers, and the sun that continually rises and falls. Orange was also the favorite color of my friend Lucas Pfander.

Lucas Pfander changed my life. He was so many things; a son, a brother, a Catholic, a student, a lifeguard, a swimmer, a runner, the National Honor Society President, and most importantly to me, a friend. I’ll never forget the day I met him. It was the first day of high school and coming from a non-feeder grade school I was entering uncharted territory. I didn’t know anyone. I walked into first period terrified and for some reason I may never know, Lucas came in and sat right next to me. Even though there were plenty of people in the room that he knew and could have talked to, he chose to introduce himself to me. Here started a lifelong friendship. 

Through the next three years of high school Lucas and I were good friends. We had classes together, worked together on school projects, and even competed side by side for our school’s swim team. He was always there for me and anyone else when they had a problem. Some of my best high school memories like advancing to the district swim meet in the 2008 season, dancing it up at Homecomings and Prom, and hanging out on random Friday nights, revolve around Lucas. 

It would go without saying that when I heard that Lucas was going on vacation with a close friend and his family in mid July, I fully expected to see him again in early August. I was wrong. On the night of July 10th, 2008, Lucas Ryan Pfander drowned in a boating accident. His death devastated not only me but the hundreds of friends and family members he left behind. The following five days were the hardest days of my life. Emotions ranged from numbness to shock, guilt to fear, and denial to disbelief. Simply stated, I didn’t know how to live in a world were Lucas didn’t. 

As the days and weeks moved on, my friends and I were left with many unanswered questions. Questions that will never have real answers. What we found in place of these answers were memories. Memories that even death cannot take away from us. He showed me what it was to be a good friend. He led by example: always working to include others and attempting to make sure no one was left out. Talking to me on that first day of school was typical Lucas, he worked hard to make sure everyone had a friend. 

Lucas taught me to find joy in mundane things. Whatever he was doing Lucas threw himself into it whole-heartedly. Whether it was figuring out an impossible math problem, DOMINATING a game of Scrabble, or completing a difficult set at swim practice, Lucas did it happily. So whenever I’m faced with a challenge that seems too difficult or day that seems impossible, I remember Lucas and how he taught me to find joy in these simple things. 

Most importantly though, Lucas taught me to live out each day the best I can. In his life and through his death, he showed me how often times life is too short, and that we can never be guaranteed a tomorrow. He showed me how important it is to love myself and others whole heartedly and to never take anything for granted. 

Everyday still hurts and the grief is real; especially when faced with thoughts of moments which Lucas would have been a part of if he were still here. But notice before how I related to Lucas as a life-long friend. Even though his life is over, mine continues on, and his presence is still a very real part of my life and in a way, Lucas is still here. He is here in the laughter of his friends who live on despite the daily struggle, in the spirit of the Chaminade-Julienne Catholic High School student section of every game, in the hearts of all who knew him, and in the vibrant orange sunsets that remind us all how much joy can still be found in each and every day we are given.